CORPORATE RULES

Nothing in your office is yours. 

Nothing you say is secret. 

The smartphone is a tracking device. 

That's why it's smart. 

Work is whatever the Boss assigns. 

Whatever the Boss assigns must be done yesterday.  

Your colleague's job is to get your Boss's job.

He who points fingers first wins. 

Happy Hour is SO over.   

Good subordinates can't afford to stay. 

Bad subordinates can't afford to leave. 

Rumors are more real than facts. 

You are what they think you are.

For every opinion there is an equal and opposite opinion. 

Opinions don't matter.. 

The Budget does..

Making Budget requires strategy. 

For every strategy there is an equal and opposite strategy. 

The new strategy will be succeeded by a strategy that reverses it. 

The Budget comes from the Bottom Line 

The Bottom Line comes from the Top Brass

The Top Brass gets the Bottom Line from the Competition. 

Lean-In, Disrupt, Enhance Shareholder Value -- 

Buzz-wording the business demonstrates Industry Leadership. 

Reorganizations are the best way to obscure corporate problems. 

Even better than Mergers. 

Stock Buybacks prove that Reorganizations succeed. 

Reorganizations and Stock Buybacks are the sign of superior Executive Vision.

Producing numbers is easier than producing business.

Producing numbers means you don't have to produce business. 

The accountants will do what they're told. 

The lawyers will defend the accountants. 

Switzerland, Cypress, and Bermuda have lots of CEOs. 

The next CEO has already been chosen. 

Our customers will do what they're told.

They figure out what's wrong with our products

 Our customers are lucky to have us. 

Your Boss says you did a great job this year. 

Your raise was budgeted last year.

Your Boss recommends you for a promotion in 3 years. 

The Boss said the same thing last year.  

No Warnng

No Severance

No Insurance

Nothing Personal