OFFICE COMBAT

OFFICE COMBATOFFICE COMBATOFFICE COMBATOFFICE COMBAT
  • HOME
  • RULES
  • COMBAT AWARDS
  • COMBAT ALLSTARS
  • COMMUNICATION
  • BONDING
  • CALENDAR
  • DIAGNOSTIC
  • WALL STREET FOR KIDS
  • CERTIFICATE OF MERIT
  • GIFT SHOP

OFFICE COMBAT

OFFICE COMBATOFFICE COMBATOFFICE COMBAT
  • HOME
  • RULES
  • COMBAT AWARDS
  • COMBAT ALLSTARS
  • COMMUNICATION
  • BONDING
  • CALENDAR
  • DIAGNOSTIC
  • WALL STREET FOR KIDS
  • CERTIFICATE OF MERIT
  • GIFT SHOP

OFFICE COMMUNICATION

What To Say When

Anything you say will be used against you. 

Don't say anything useful. 

Arriving at the Office in the Morning.

"Good Morning."

Conversation with a Subordinate

"If you want to learn the business, this is what you do." 

"This is how you do it."

"Get started."

Conversation with a Colleague

"Is that so?"

"I wasn't aware of it."

"Anyway, things always turn out for the best." 

Ending a Conversation with a Colleague

"I gotta run." 

Telling a Colleague to Get Lost

"Let's do lunch." 

Calling an In-Person Meeting

Never call an In-Person Meeting. People won't show up. Those who show up won't listen. 

If you have to call an In-Person meeting, delegate a subordinate to run it. 

Everyone will think it's a promotion. 

Everyone will show up.

Everyone will listen. 

Attending an In-Person Meeting that Somebody Else calls.

"Hello." 

Let everyone else talk. 

Browse through apps and files on your device.

Leave before they schedule the next meeting.  

"Gotta run." 

Being Admitted to a Zoom Meeting

Wave. 

No need to say anything. 

Conversations on Zoom

Stay on mute. 

If you are asked to support or reject an idea, just nod--as in "yes," or shake your head--as in "no."

Or fiddle with the sound and display buttons on your device. 

Leaving a Zoom Meeting

Wave.

No need to say anything.

Conversation at Cocktail Parties, Conferences, Coffee Breaks & the Elevator

"Traffic on the BQE is worse than Djakarta."

"It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

"How about them Yankees?" 

Conversation with the Boss

"That's a really exciting idea -- when do we start?"

Getting an Assignment from the Boss

"Thanks! I'll get right on it." 

Updating the Boss on the Assignment

"On schedule -- should be done by COB Thursday." 

" I've discovered a problem with the data we're getting. I'll need the weekend ." 

Turning the Assignment In

"The key issues are all listed on Page One."

 "The supporting data can be accessed at this URL."

Taking Feedback from the Boss on the Assignment

"Thanks for the feedback! I'll get right on it."

"Thanks for the feedback! It won't happen again."

Leaving the Office at Night

"Good night."

"Gotta run." 


Copyright © 2025 Office Combat - All Rights Reserved.

  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions

Powered by

This website uses cookies.

We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.

Accept